[ there's a moment where he's really not sure whether this is such a good idea or not, but then it's happening and charles for all his hesitance has always harbored a streak of spontaneous bravery. the same trait that caused him to jump off an ocean liner into the water after a mutant who was a stranger to him is the same impulse that drives him to kiss logan now, the thrill of the unknown making him temporarily bold.
he breathes in sharply when logan pulls him in, arms going around his shoulders to anchor that closeness, all of charles's frustrations and disappointments of the past few days coming to a head. erik's rescue and the fight they'd hand on the plane, logan's presence a comforting ballast against the ugly, raw regrets that had threatened to sweep charles away. and then paris and further betrayal, the mess and the fallout of everything that'd happened there.
he just wants to feel something other that completely dejected for a few, bare moments. he wants to put aside the impossible odds and the people who've abandoned him and think about something simple for a change - the shift of muscle under logan's warm skin and the tug of his hand in charles's hair. a soft sound escapes his lips as he licks into logan's mouth, wrapping his hand around the nape of his neck to pull him closer. ]
[No. It's a horrible idea, and if Charles stopped and asked him, he'd tell him the honest truth. They shouldn't be doing this. That wasn't stopping him though, and it didn't seem to be stopping Charles. If anything it just added to the fire, fueled the spark of desperation and desire.
Like Charles, Logan had just as much on his mind that he needed a moment away from. The survival of mutantkind, in many ways, was resting on his shoulder right now, and so far, he'd failed.
Anxiety melts away as all his thoughts are preoccupied with Charles' mouth on his, the quiet hummed groan that's muffled into the kiss as he parts his lips and Charles' tongue slips past them. The invasion is welcome, returned with heated eagerness, and the space he'd left the telepath, space to push him back or move away from him, was quickly diminishing as they both tugged and pulled at each other, seeking out more contact. Charles' fingers brush through the short hair on his neck and it sends a shudder down his spine, makes him let go of the hold he has on the younger man's shirt in favor of fumbling to push the fabric up and out of the way, fingers seeking out skin to dig into and muscles to knead to draw the other man closer still.]
[ charles can't remember the last time he felt this way with anyone. the last time he let himself get this close to anyone. it fills him with a kind of adrenalin-soaked anxiety; uncertainty clouding his movements where before there might only have been confident ease.
the handsome young man he was at oxford feels like worlds away now. he doesn't know what could possibly have drawn logan in when he's nothing more than a miserable collection of coping mechanisms held together by whiskey and hank's serum.
but he's not exactly interested in asking questions when logan's mouth is on his and logan's hand is sliding up his shirt to grab his chest beneath. charles's breath catches in his throat and he takes that as permission to touch him in return, bringing up his free hand to land hesitantly against logan's big shoulder, giving him a hesitant squeeze as he pulls him forward.
he is beautifully built, something charles hasn't allowed himself to notice until now, and he's grateful that the hot flush of appreciation he feels won't hop mind to mind. ]
[In stark contrast to Charles' lingering hesitation, the inhibitions and uncertainties Logan had been feeling earlier were gone. Forgotten. Like a switch that was either flicked on or off.
It was hard to separate what personality traits might stem from his mutation and what were just him, but the single minded primal drive, much like the blind rage that always threatened to swallow him whole during fights, had to stem from that. Despite feeling overwhelmed with the raw need to touch, and to cover Charles with his scent, claim him, he was still positioning himself to give the younger man a path of escape. He's still expecting at any moment that the telepath will come to his senses and shove him away. It wouldn't change much, they'd just go back to pretending there wasn't the slightest hint of attraction between them. It'd be easy.
He slides his hand up Charles' back, fingers fanned to trail over as much skin as he could, bunching the fabric of his shirt up with it. The press of the other man's lips is building a pleasant buzz, he wants to move down his jaw, to his neck, taste it all, but breaking the kiss and freeing Charles' mouth meant offering him an opportunity to tell Logan to stop. He just didn't feel confident enough to risk it. Not yet.
Instead, he leans into his touch, silently encouraging Charles to continue while drawing him closer.]
[ charles knows how easy it'd be to get out of this. he's an expert in finding escape routes and it's been so long since he wanted anything at all for himself, even the simplest things, that it makes it simple to imagine denying himself this too. but, perhaps not surprisingly, he can't bring himself to stop.
there's a part of him that doesn't think they could get any closer. he proves himself wrong by shifting his weight and pushing himself closer along the bed until he's practically in logan's lap, sheets or no.he should have some pride and feel a little ashamed of himself, being so forward, but charles is well beyond the point of being embarrassed in front of logan, of all people. he can safely say the other man's seen him at his worst.
which again, makes the fact that they're in this position all the more bewildering to charles. but it's not enough of a dilemma to keep him from nipping lightly at logan's lower lip, tugging it with his teeth before licking at the corner of his mouth, letting his hands travel over his shoulders and slightly down his chest before he wraps his arms around his neck again, leaning back and pulling logan with him. ]
[What Charles doesn't know is is that he's also seen Logan at his worst and still accepted him then. He'd taken him in, into a damn school full of children. Obviously, there was some trust, some hope that Logan really was more than the rabid animal he saw himself as. He'd always treated him like a person, just as deserving of respect as anyone else. It had made an impact, treat him like a man, and he'd act like one. It still astonished Logan though that Charles had been able to see a man in the paranoid, scared, aggressive creature that he'd brought into his home.
With all of that, it's not hard at all to stick by Charles, to have faith and patience with him, to be there to quietly offer support each time he stumbles. And somewhere along the way this had happened, the looks had changed, the reassuring touches had lingered for a little too long.
Logan is more than happy to accommodate Charles as he shifts closer, strong arms wrapping firmly around him to draw him in. With Charles practically in his lap, it forces him to tilt his head back, the angle making the kiss feel deeper, added a feverish hunger to it. His shaky, needy breath is audible in the quiet of the night when Charles pulls back to tease with light nips and tugs to his lip that makes Logan growl in anticipation and desire.
Charles leaning back and dragging Logan with him triggers something in Logan. It mirrors their earlier position, less claws and threatening growls. Logan tangles a hand into Charles' long hair, tugging to give him easier access as tongue and teeth find the younger man's jaw line and trail down to his neck. He keeps it light, consciously not wanting to leave any marks. He moves lower, wanting to get to skin where he doesn't have to be so careful, where he can really sink his teeth into Charles.
The shirt needs to go, hopefully Charles wasn't too attached to it, because in a quick movement one claw slides from Logan's hand to shred messily at the fabric. Stupid bone claws. It gets the job done though, lets him tear it out of the way so he can get to his collarbone, immediately leaving a bruise.]
[ even as charles has no idea what he's doing, there's no fear mixed with his unsteady anticipation. he has nothing but solid trust for logan, something that's been a rare phenomenon of late. he was stupid enough to believe that maybe he could believe that erik would help them and he's still smarting over having been so wrong about that one.
knowing he can trust logan fills him a flush of warmth and affection both, flooding through his smaller frame as logan's weight settles heavily over top of him. the sounds charles is making aren't anything he'd claim as his own, soft and hungry and desperate, his hands running down over logan's shoulders, then raking light up his back with his nails. ]
Logan.
[ there goes his shirt. the way he says his name should make it obvious he doesn't have any intentions of telling him to stop. he nudges his knee against logan's thigh, pushing himself tentatively up against his mouth in encouragement. he knows from the bright mixture of pain and pleasure both that blooms at his collar bone that it's going to bruise, but he couldn't care less. ]
[The quiet noises seem to spur Logan on, but it's the rake of nails up his back that draws a throaty groan and a hard rock of his hips against Charles in return. The mix of pain and pleasure riling him up even more. Hearing his name, and the desire behind it, sends heat prickling through him, makes him feel feverish and lost in primal need.
Logan shifts at the nudge, consciously not even registering what he's doing, just moving so they can both have more friction. Tugging again at Charles' hair, he flattens his tongue to lap at the bruise he's given him before moving back up his neck, teeth grazing possessively over his skin.
Unceremoniously, he pushes a hand down between them, eliciting another rumbling, deep moan when he palms over Charles through the thin fabric of pajama bottoms. The question of whether or not they should be doing this was far from the forefront of his mind. He'd shifted to something more instinctive, moving to fulfill a need in both of them.
He rocks his hips again, grinding against the younger man.] Fuck. Charles. [It's breathless and whispered, heavy with desire.]
[ logan feels perfect over top of him, heavy and warm and brimming with an intensity charles knows he'd be able to read if his powers were currently intact. the serum's bound to wear off by morning but right now its powers are still in working order, something he's immensely grateful for, given the circumstances. he'd rather not have to filter through logan's thoughts on top of his own right now.
it's all he can do to just hold onto him, his mouth falling open when logan grinds their hips together. there's a kind of flushed, excited panic that ripples through him at the feel of logan's teeth on his throat and logan's hand shoved between them. he just has this sense that maybe he should say something, like he should warn him that it's been literally years and he's already falling apart at the seams over how much he wants this and how much he wants logan.
but it's hard to find the words and it's easier to hook his leg around the back of logan's and roll his hips up into him, doing what he can to lock their bodies together and hold logan as close as he can keep him - at least as much as he can without working against the hand between his legs and the halting rhythm of the movement they were working toward.
when he hears him say his name, it's all he can do not to whimper. he makes a muffled sort of sound instead, biting the corner of logan's jaw. ]
Whatever you want. Anything. We can - [ well, anything is pretty clear. ]
[It was hard to say whether Charles would have an incredibly easy time dealing with what was going on in Logan's head, or an incredibly difficult time. There was definitely no in between. While intently focused on just one thing, his head was still a swirl of scents and sounds, which only added to the primal, singular drive. A sensory overload to anyone not used to it.
Logan willingly let's himself get swallowed up by it, submerged in the noise of Charles' quick, sharp breaths, the way his heart sped up and raced, pulse quickening at bites and touches, and his own quiet growls and groans. All under the overwhelming scent that was Charles; it made him hungry to press his lips against his skin and bury his face against the telepath's neck, breathing him in as he continued to grind insistently into the other man.
He hadn't realized he'd said anything, the words spoken in an exhale, but Charles' voice is clear and makes him pull back and blink as he actually slows enough to process thoughts. Stopping to think was almost jarring, driving home just how much he hadn't thought this through.]
What, um... [He ends up getting impatient with himself. He doesn't want to think or ask about lube, or condoms, or any of it. He doesn't want Charles going anywhere, and he isn't about to get up. It narrows their options slightly.
Instead of dwelling on it, any of it, he just closes his eyes and rocks his hips down against Charles' again, a slow intentional grind that draws a shaky, groaned breath from him.] Nevermind. [He leans back in, nipping at Charles' jaw, the scruff scratching his lips, and slides a hand between them. Palming Charles' through the thin pajama pants, he growls quietly against his skin. The rest of Charles' clothing really needed to go.]
[ perhaps there is something ever so slightly pathetic about the idea that charles is falling into bed with the first person to make him feel whole again in roughly nine years. logan's been behind him every step of the way, ready to give charles a little shove if he started to slack. he's had hank with him every step of the way, but it's different being with someone who actually expects things from him.
when logan looks at him, charles feels both hopelessly inadequate and also like he could be something greater than he is, like he could be the inspiring figure that brought logan across time to be with him.
these days, he couldn't even talk himself into doing anything. logan's hips grind down into his and it pushes the air from charles's lungs, makes him feel like he couldn't move even if he wanted to. since he started experimenting with the serum, he's had some idea of what it's like to suddenly lose control of his faculties, and that's remarkably similar to what he's feeling now. except, of course, that he chose to be here. he wanted this. he wanted logan. ]
Hmm? [ he's honestly distracted for a moment trying to work out what he's asking. he even naturally tries to drift questioningly toward the unfinished statement in his mind before he remembers that he can't. ] What...
[ his voice comes out hoarse, strained on a low sound of obvious pleasure when logan drags their hips together, slow and heavy and deliberate. nevermind is an answer he's suddenly willing to take, since he can scarcely think, let alone sort out a reply. charles squeezes his back hard under his hand before he lets go, reaching behind him to grip the headboard for leverage. it gives him something to push back against so he can rub himself up against logan with the same kind of force that he's got charles pinned to the bed with.
as he feels logan's hand sliding heavy between their legs, charles's head falls back against the pillow beneath him. he works his own free hand down too, trying to push at the elastic waist of his pajama pants. suddenly going to bed dressed seems like a huge oversight on his part. ]
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no subject
he breathes in sharply when logan pulls him in, arms going around his shoulders to anchor that closeness, all of charles's frustrations and disappointments of the past few days coming to a head. erik's rescue and the fight they'd hand on the plane, logan's presence a comforting ballast against the ugly, raw regrets that had threatened to sweep charles away. and then paris and further betrayal, the mess and the fallout of everything that'd happened there.
he just wants to feel something other that completely dejected for a few, bare moments. he wants to put aside the impossible odds and the people who've abandoned him and think about something simple for a change - the shift of muscle under logan's warm skin and the tug of his hand in charles's hair. a soft sound escapes his lips as he licks into logan's mouth, wrapping his hand around the nape of his neck to pull him closer. ]
no subject
Like Charles, Logan had just as much on his mind that he needed a moment away from. The survival of mutantkind, in many ways, was resting on his shoulder right now, and so far, he'd failed.
Anxiety melts away as all his thoughts are preoccupied with Charles' mouth on his, the quiet hummed groan that's muffled into the kiss as he parts his lips and Charles' tongue slips past them. The invasion is welcome, returned with heated eagerness, and the space he'd left the telepath, space to push him back or move away from him, was quickly diminishing as they both tugged and pulled at each other, seeking out more contact. Charles' fingers brush through the short hair on his neck and it sends a shudder down his spine, makes him let go of the hold he has on the younger man's shirt in favor of fumbling to push the fabric up and out of the way, fingers seeking out skin to dig into and muscles to knead to draw the other man closer still.]
no subject
the handsome young man he was at oxford feels like worlds away now. he doesn't know what could possibly have drawn logan in when he's nothing more than a miserable collection of coping mechanisms held together by whiskey and hank's serum.
but he's not exactly interested in asking questions when logan's mouth is on his and logan's hand is sliding up his shirt to grab his chest beneath. charles's breath catches in his throat and he takes that as permission to touch him in return, bringing up his free hand to land hesitantly against logan's big shoulder, giving him a hesitant squeeze as he pulls him forward.
he is beautifully built, something charles hasn't allowed himself to notice until now, and he's grateful that the hot flush of appreciation he feels won't hop mind to mind. ]
no subject
It was hard to separate what personality traits might stem from his mutation and what were just him, but the single minded primal drive, much like the blind rage that always threatened to swallow him whole during fights, had to stem from that. Despite feeling overwhelmed with the raw need to touch, and to cover Charles with his scent, claim him, he was still positioning himself to give the younger man a path of escape. He's still expecting at any moment that the telepath will come to his senses and shove him away. It wouldn't change much, they'd just go back to pretending there wasn't the slightest hint of attraction between them. It'd be easy.
He slides his hand up Charles' back, fingers fanned to trail over as much skin as he could, bunching the fabric of his shirt up with it. The press of the other man's lips is building a pleasant buzz, he wants to move down his jaw, to his neck, taste it all, but breaking the kiss and freeing Charles' mouth meant offering him an opportunity to tell Logan to stop. He just didn't feel confident enough to risk it. Not yet.
Instead, he leans into his touch, silently encouraging Charles to continue while drawing him closer.]
no subject
there's a part of him that doesn't think they could get any closer. he proves himself wrong by shifting his weight and pushing himself closer along the bed until he's practically in logan's lap, sheets or no.he should have some pride and feel a little ashamed of himself, being so forward, but charles is well beyond the point of being embarrassed in front of logan, of all people. he can safely say the other man's seen him at his worst.
which again, makes the fact that they're in this position all the more bewildering to charles. but it's not enough of a dilemma to keep him from nipping lightly at logan's lower lip, tugging it with his teeth before licking at the corner of his mouth, letting his hands travel over his shoulders and slightly down his chest before he wraps his arms around his neck again, leaning back and pulling logan with him. ]
no subject
With all of that, it's not hard at all to stick by Charles, to have faith and patience with him, to be there to quietly offer support each time he stumbles. And somewhere along the way this had happened, the looks had changed, the reassuring touches had lingered for a little too long.
Logan is more than happy to accommodate Charles as he shifts closer, strong arms wrapping firmly around him to draw him in. With Charles practically in his lap, it forces him to tilt his head back, the angle making the kiss feel deeper, added a feverish hunger to it. His shaky, needy breath is audible in the quiet of the night when Charles pulls back to tease with light nips and tugs to his lip that makes Logan growl in anticipation and desire.
Charles leaning back and dragging Logan with him triggers something in Logan. It mirrors their earlier position, less claws and threatening growls. Logan tangles a hand into Charles' long hair, tugging to give him easier access as tongue and teeth find the younger man's jaw line and trail down to his neck. He keeps it light, consciously not wanting to leave any marks. He moves lower, wanting to get to skin where he doesn't have to be so careful, where he can really sink his teeth into Charles.
The shirt needs to go, hopefully Charles wasn't too attached to it, because in a quick movement one claw slides from Logan's hand to shred messily at the fabric. Stupid bone claws. It gets the job done though, lets him tear it out of the way so he can get to his collarbone, immediately leaving a bruise.]
no subject
knowing he can trust logan fills him a flush of warmth and affection both, flooding through his smaller frame as logan's weight settles heavily over top of him. the sounds charles is making aren't anything he'd claim as his own, soft and hungry and desperate, his hands running down over logan's shoulders, then raking light up his back with his nails. ]
Logan.
[ there goes his shirt. the way he says his name should make it obvious he doesn't have any intentions of telling him to stop. he nudges his knee against logan's thigh, pushing himself tentatively up against his mouth in encouragement. he knows from the bright mixture of pain and pleasure both that blooms at his collar bone that it's going to bruise, but he couldn't care less. ]
no subject
Logan shifts at the nudge, consciously not even registering what he's doing, just moving so they can both have more friction. Tugging again at Charles' hair, he flattens his tongue to lap at the bruise he's given him before moving back up his neck, teeth grazing possessively over his skin.
Unceremoniously, he pushes a hand down between them, eliciting another rumbling, deep moan when he palms over Charles through the thin fabric of pajama bottoms. The question of whether or not they should be doing this was far from the forefront of his mind. He'd shifted to something more instinctive, moving to fulfill a need in both of them.
He rocks his hips again, grinding against the younger man.] Fuck. Charles. [It's breathless and whispered, heavy with desire.]
no subject
it's all he can do to just hold onto him, his mouth falling open when logan grinds their hips together. there's a kind of flushed, excited panic that ripples through him at the feel of logan's teeth on his throat and logan's hand shoved between them. he just has this sense that maybe he should say something, like he should warn him that it's been literally years and he's already falling apart at the seams over how much he wants this and how much he wants logan.
but it's hard to find the words and it's easier to hook his leg around the back of logan's and roll his hips up into him, doing what he can to lock their bodies together and hold logan as close as he can keep him - at least as much as he can without working against the hand between his legs and the halting rhythm of the movement they were working toward.
when he hears him say his name, it's all he can do not to whimper. he makes a muffled sort of sound instead, biting the corner of logan's jaw. ]
Whatever you want. Anything. We can - [ well, anything is pretty clear. ]
no subject
Logan willingly let's himself get swallowed up by it, submerged in the noise of Charles' quick, sharp breaths, the way his heart sped up and raced, pulse quickening at bites and touches, and his own quiet growls and groans. All under the overwhelming scent that was Charles; it made him hungry to press his lips against his skin and bury his face against the telepath's neck, breathing him in as he continued to grind insistently into the other man.
He hadn't realized he'd said anything, the words spoken in an exhale, but Charles' voice is clear and makes him pull back and blink as he actually slows enough to process thoughts. Stopping to think was almost jarring, driving home just how much he hadn't thought this through.]
What, um... [He ends up getting impatient with himself. He doesn't want to think or ask about lube, or condoms, or any of it. He doesn't want Charles going anywhere, and he isn't about to get up. It narrows their options slightly.
Instead of dwelling on it, any of it, he just closes his eyes and rocks his hips down against Charles' again, a slow intentional grind that draws a shaky, groaned breath from him.] Nevermind. [He leans back in, nipping at Charles' jaw, the scruff scratching his lips, and slides a hand between them. Palming Charles' through the thin pajama pants, he growls quietly against his skin. The rest of Charles' clothing really needed to go.]
no subject
when logan looks at him, charles feels both hopelessly inadequate and also like he could be something greater than he is, like he could be the inspiring figure that brought logan across time to be with him.
these days, he couldn't even talk himself into doing anything. logan's hips grind down into his and it pushes the air from charles's lungs, makes him feel like he couldn't move even if he wanted to. since he started experimenting with the serum, he's had some idea of what it's like to suddenly lose control of his faculties, and that's remarkably similar to what he's feeling now. except, of course, that he chose to be here. he wanted this. he wanted logan. ]
Hmm? [ he's honestly distracted for a moment trying to work out what he's asking. he even naturally tries to drift questioningly toward the unfinished statement in his mind before he remembers that he can't. ] What...
[ his voice comes out hoarse, strained on a low sound of obvious pleasure when logan drags their hips together, slow and heavy and deliberate. nevermind is an answer he's suddenly willing to take, since he can scarcely think, let alone sort out a reply. charles squeezes his back hard under his hand before he lets go, reaching behind him to grip the headboard for leverage. it gives him something to push back against so he can rub himself up against logan with the same kind of force that he's got charles pinned to the bed with.
as he feels logan's hand sliding heavy between their legs, charles's head falls back against the pillow beneath him. he works his own free hand down too, trying to push at the elastic waist of his pajama pants. suddenly going to bed dressed seems like a huge oversight on his part. ]